Dusting, vacuuming, wiping down dust. I don't think I've ever cleaned as much in one day as I did today. The strange thing was that everything looked clean before, and everything looked clean afterward, but the water was filthy in the end. It probably makes sense that everything gets cleaned so often. When I started, I thought I would never finish. So many rooms, stairs, and hallways. I just had to start in one place and keep going step by step, trusting that I would eventually reach my goal. And even though it often felt painfully slow, bit by bit, after hours of work, I finally completed everything. It turns out you can get quite far if you stay persistent.
I need to learn this in my spiritual life, too. All too often, I’m in a hurry and want to reach my goal immediately. I must learn to walk patiently, step by step, and persist, trusting that I will arrive eventually.
In between, I had a quick session with the physiotherapist, who managed to release a joint blockage that had been causing me back pain for the past three weeks. Over and over, he kept telling me not to be afraid. It’s crazy, but somehow I was afraid that it might hurt more afterward than before. We seem to prefer sticking with what we know (even if it’s pain) rather than trusting and surrendering to something completely unknown. That’s something I must constantly remind myself of in order to live this life in the right way. Because, fundamentally, this life demands exactly that: a constant, trusting surrender to the Unknown. The Unfathomable. The Incomprehensible. But also, the One who is very near.
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